by Optimutt » Mon Jan 25, 2010 1:09 am
- Motto: "Victory if nothing if you don't enjoy everything leading to it."
When Michael Bay was putting together the first Transformers movie, Peter Berg worked from the same office. It was from that office, in fact, that Mr. Berg put together and directed the Will Smith movie, "Hancock". Other Pete Berg credits include the TV adapted series, "Friday Night Lights" and the movie "Very Bad Things".
He is also one of my brother's oldest friends.
Watching "TF: Revenge of the Fallen", a story came to mind. I wrote the resulting screenplay and sent it to my brother to pass along to Mr. Berg. I even emailed the all-around fantastic artist and Gentleman, Mr. Josh Nizzi (artistic designer of the movie versions of Long Haul, Jetfire, the Fallen, and Combined Optimus Prime) in an effort to somehow get my script to the Studio before they got too far into talks about TF III.
Just about six months have passed. Michael Bay has begun talking TF:III and I have not heard anything from them. That means that they probably have not used this story as a script or even rough guideline and the world's loss is the Fandom's gain.
I hope to provide you with a RTF file, but until I can attach one to the board, the rest is below.
Enjoy.
___________________________________________________________________________________
Aug 4th, 2009
Transformers III
Agents of Chaos
By Rob Queen
GROUNDING SHOT – THE PARAMOUNT MOUNTAIN
Fade in on the mountain, which slowly pans down into a primeval forest. No animals are seen as of yet, but sounds begin to come to. Animal; heavy animal. Off in the distance, a heavy thud forces a sending of pteranodons flying.
The sounds lead us toward the impact craters, six tight paths carved in the primeval forest, taking down trees and revealing the harsh undergrowth.
GRIMLOCK (Cybertronian – Off Camera)
Give me status.
A sextet of dinosaurs emerge from the craters. Camera traces outline of something, until coming to a rest in robotic red reptilian eyes.
SWOOP (Cybertronian – Off Camera)
All accounted for. Target is 1.2 Furms to the Northeast
In the reflection, we see several dinosaurs: a triceratops, a stegosaurus, a diminutive velociraptor, a pteranodon, and a brontosaurus.
GRIMLOCK (Cybertronian)
Then let’s show that scrapheap what
Happens when he lets logic dictate!
Pan out on dinosaur’s head as it lets out a massive roar. Pan continues until it includes the six DYNOBOTS in motion. Zoom out continues as they tear through the underbrush.
Shot reverses as it pans back in on GRIMLOCK’S eye as SHOCKWAVE approaches. In the reflection, one of Shockwave’s arms morphs into his gun-arm and several shots are fired. Growling and roaring continue as the sounds of battle grow. Camera is knocked off of Grimlock’s eye with a punch from Shockwave.
Set loose, the camera angles up as the sounds of battle continue to rage below. Establish an Arcadian panorama of the prehistoric eco-system, onto to erupt in a massive volcanic explosion, from which a probe hurtles out into space.
INT. SAM’S BEDROOM – MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
It’s dark. Phone rings. SAM reaches, picks it up. His eyes are gummy and half-closed.
SAM
Hello?
LEO
Sam. Leo. Hey, buddy, we gotta talk.
Sam picks up the clock. It reads 2:14am. He rubs his eyes, pulls himself a little bit from the bed. A medallion catches the light from the bedside stand.
SAM
This can wait till morning, right?
Beside Sam, MIKAELA stirs. She glances over at her boyfriend.
MIKAELA
Sam? What is it?
SAM
It’s Leo, honey.
MIKAELA
Tell’im to call later. Next week.
SAM
Right, babe. I’m trying to tell him that. Leo, gotta go. Mikaela’s sleeping.
LEO
Then let her! I need to see you. Now.
Sam smacks his lips, nods as if his friend were here, then he reaches toward the table to shut the phone off.
SAM
Right. Goodnight, Leo.
LEO
No! Sam! Sam! Listen to me! I found
Something that you need to know about.
SAM
Nothing that can’t wait ‘till the morning.
LEO
Sam, listen to me. Listen very closely. I got two words for you. Are you listening? Ok. Transformer Dinosaurs.
Sam’s mouth drops and with a sudden shock that jars him fully awake, he sits up.
SAM
I’ll be right there.
WHEELIE, (a former Decepticon who defected to the Autobots) in RCV mode, speeds along after Sam, transforms. In robot mode, he’s modified himself to have a spiked Bowser collar. He continues after Sam, half walking, half rolling.
WHEELIE
Hey, hey, Beta-Bore, where you headed this time of night? You gonna try to find a tramp more your speed? I hear you at night. “Ow! Oh, Baby, that hurts! Be gentle!” Face it, you’re too much a wimp for my Warrior Goddess!
Sam rolls his eyes at the miniature Transformer.
SAM
Go back to bed, you little mongrel. You’re not coming with.
WHEELIE
What? You think I want to go with you?
SAM
Yeah. You’re just jealous that you’re not Human and that Mikaela’s not into robotiality. And don’t pester her about this. Unless, of course, you want your little RC butt kicked back to the Decepticons.
Sam slams the door to the outside. Wheelie almost gets his face caught in the door as it slams shut. Despite his harsh words, Wheelie actually wanted to go along.
WHEELIE
Pubescent little punk didn’t have to go playing that card. Why, if he didn’t have his shoes on his feet, I’d leak some lubricant all over them.
EXT. PARKING LOT – PRE-DAWN.
In the bitter autumn air, LEO is waiting beside a Jeep in a half-empty parking lot. If one were to look closely at its grill, they would notice a Decepticon insignia etched into it. It’s late in the year, cold. Leo shivers slightly. A yellow Camaro pulls up (BUMBLEBEE) and Sam gets out. He takes one whiff of the cold and pats his arms down.
SAM
It’s freezing! Leo, what’s all this about Transformer dinosaurs? It’d better not be a joke getting me out of my warm bed at this hour.
Leo shrugs as if it’s not a big deal.
LEO
Top secret, buddy. Sorry
Blinking in incredulity, Sam runs his hands through his hair.
SAM
Am I dreaming? What the hell are you talking about? You’re attaché to the ambassador to the Autobots, my second-in-command. How could you possibly possess information that’s classified above me? What’s more, you won’t tell me?
Now Leo gives in a little to a guilty secret. He frowns and shrugs again, as if he had been caught with his hands in a cookie jar. He then sighs and lets it all out.
LEO
Well, it’s like this, see. A little while ago, I met someone, and, well, we just kind of really hit it off well. One of those fate, destiny things, maybe. Anyway. We both like making money, getting favors, that kind of thing. Aw, hell, buddy. Maybe it’d be best to introduce you, two. Swindle?
Leo’s Jeep transforms into the Decepticon, SWINDLE. At first the Decepticon merely smiles down at the two Humans with a face looking almost like mercury. Sam stares at Swindle for a moment before instincts kick in and he backs toward Bumblebee.
SAM
A Decepticon! Leo! What’d you do?
Swindle takes Sam’s ostensible exit as the prelude to an attack and trains his wrist cannon at Bumblebee.
SWINDLE
Give the man some credit. Can’t fault a guy who knows a deal when he meets one.
Bumblebee transforms just in time to dodge Swindle’s initial cannon blast and flips behind a nearby van for cover. Several shots from Swindle’s cannon quickly turn the van to scrap, knocking Bumblebee back.
The Autobot rolls with the blast and trains his own arm-cannon at the Decepticon, who manages to just barely dodge the blue charge.
Swindle blinks at the blast and smiles at the Autobot while simultaneously tracing a line of fire at Bumblebee’s legs, and subsequently dropping the Autobot. With his opponent momentarily incapacitated, Swindle tags Bumblebee in the kneecaps, effectively crippling him. ‘Bee gives an alien scream as his battle-mask pops back.
By now, Swindle is on top of Bumblebee. He kicks the Autobot’s face once, and in that moment of disorientation, takes the opportunity to yank Bumblebee’s right arm wide. Swindle trains his blaster on Bumblebee’s shoulder and severs the arm at the socket.
SWINDLE
Sweet gun! Mind if I take it as a souvenir?
Bumblebee screams again, his face jerking back in a spasm of agony. Despite this pain, he manages to clobber Swindle once in the mouth.
The Decepticon staggers back a single step and aims Bumblebee’s arm-cannon at Bee. The weapon shatters its former owner’s elbow joint, leaving the arm dangling by hydraulics and wires.
At the sight of the “un-armed” Autobot, Swindle fails to stifle a chortle. His chromed, Human-like, face grimaces in a wide smile that droops down into a mocking grin.
SWINDLE
Oh, I like this! Can’t wait to get it plugged in!
Even without his arms, ‘Bee struggles to his feet and charges Swindle. Swindle laughs at the Autobot’s clumsy assault and dodges just out of reach, forcing Bumblebee to stumble into a nearby car.
Bumblebee shakes free from the vehicle and dashes at Swindle again. The Decepticon is still laughing, whoops it up as Bee misses him again. He knows well that so long as he stays out of reach, the Autobot can’t do anything.
SWINDLE
Oh no! He’s gonna kick me to death! Oh, great Leo, you must help me! Please! An unarmed Autobot is after me.
Leo grimaces at the sheer brutality that his partner is unleashing upon Sam’s guardian.
Nearby, Sam is looking on in mute horror, unable to comprehend what his eyes are seeing. He mouths the word “no” again and again, but his throat has closed up too tightly to release his pleas.
LEO
Just finish him off for the love of God. Dios mio! You’re like a cat with a mouse.
Swindle frowns at the Fleshling’s effrontery even as he dodges one more charge from Bumblebee.
SWINDLE
And you have no sense of humor. Sorry, pally, but you heard the man.
Just as Bumblebee manages to limp past, Swindle grabs the Autobot around the neck, and with two quick explosions from his arm-cannon, severs Bumblebee’s legs.
That done, Swindle drops the Autobot hard onto the asphalt. Suddenly able to find his voice, Sam sleepwalks forward, toward his maimed best friend. His legs carry him faster until he collapses beside Bumblebee. His eyes flicker up and down in horror.
SAM
Bumblebee! Leave him alone!
Brandishing himself before the Decepticon, Sam’s body has gone rigid in challenge of the Decepticon. Swindle merely scoffs at Sam’s heroic nonsense.
SWINDLE
Fine by me. Not like that hunk can do much now.
From nearby, Leo shivers back towards the others. He puts on a brave face, though lines of surprise and guilt have scored his cheeks.
LEO
Consider this my resignation, Sam.
Sam ignores the Decepticon – who retrieves Bumblebee’s cannon from the ground and begins inspecting it – and turns toward his “former” friend. If looks could kill, Leo would be crucified with his fingers shattered and lemon doused in his wounds.
SAM
You son of a bitch! You could have just told me! You didn’t have to side with these monsters! You didn’t have to hurt Bumblebee.
Shaking his head and not looking at Sam but at Swindle, Leo’s jaw clenches.
LEO
Well, what can I say? Politics makes for some strange bedfellows. Swindle and I, well, let’s just say that we see eye to eye on more than you or I ever did.
SAM
He’s a Decepticon! Leo! They’re trying to destroy the Earth! What are you doing?
For the first time since all this has begun, Leo looks at Sam imploringly. It is a plea for understanding, though it is firm, a decision that Leo has made that nothing will convince him to back down from now.
LEO
I’m doing exactly what you’re doing with the Autobots. I’m trying to make a difference. Come on, Swindle, let’s get out of here. We have work to do.
Swindle reverts back to his Jeep mode, and LEO starts heading to his pal. Before he gets far, however, he turns back to Sam, who’s cradling Bee’s head and sobbing over it.
LEO
Oh, yeah. Sam, I’d like my medallion back.
SAM
You want it? Fine! Take it! I don’t want anything from a traitor like you!
Sam hurls the medallion at Leo, who catches it and slips it over his head. Leo’s mouth twitches as if he wants to say something, but doesn’t. He enters SWINDLE and they take off out of the parking lot and down the road.
Sam drops to the ground beside Bumblebee, his face a tapestry of guilt and anguish.
SAM
I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.
Bumblebee, doing his best to continue his role as Sam’s guardian, tries to console him, but has difficulty without his arms or a leg.
BUMBLEBEE (FM radio: SAM’s voice)
“No sacrifice, no victory.”
Bumblebee’s eyes flicker a moment. He then falls into total stasis lock.
The combination of his best friend’s final words and the stasis lock wear Sam down; he breaks down and begins sobbing.
SAM
No! You’re not going to die on me! You’re not!
Bumblebee doesn’t respond to this. He can’t. In the silence of his chum’s stasis, Sam’s face blanches in more pain than he could ever have imagined.
SAM
Bumblebee! Bumblebee! Come on, this isn’t funny! He stopped! You’ll be fine.
Fade out. As the image fades to black, SAM voice-over.
SAM (Off-Screen)
You can’t leave me like this.
EXT. THE PAINTED DESERT, ARIZONA – DAY
The Painted Desert in Arizona, where a series of cliffs tower up out of the desert floor. Remote and difficult to navigate through, it nonetheless holds a secret: the last resting place of the Dynobots and Shockwave. An excavation is well under way here, calling forth a collection of digging machinery and other such apparatus: equipment boxes, tents, and supply caches. In addition to the excavation crews, a cluster of military jeeps, Hum-Vees, and troops stand around looking alertly bored. Some large depressions in the ground represent the grave sites where several large Transformers had – until recently – lain dormant for millennia.
CAPTION
Arizona, the USA
Zoom in on SIMMONS’ face. It’s an ugly sight, one filled with dirt, dust, sweat, and a large pale blue swath of zinc oxide on his nose. A headband is wrapped tight about his sweaty forehead. He is wearing flip-down shades, though they are currently in their “up” position.
SIMMONS
Fire in the hole! Move it! Everybody,
Get the hell outta here!
Simmons hightails it over to some sandbags set out in the middle of an excavation site. Behind this are Leo, dressed in a tee-shirt and jeans and several of the excavators, none of whom are young and attractive. From their perspective behind this cover, they glance out at a series of tunnels already blasted into the cliff walls.
LEO
What’d I miss?
Simmons loves this, or so his enormous dung-gobbling grin evidences. He flips down his sunglass lenses and shoves his fingers into his ears.
SIMMONS
Fire and brimstone and the reek of hell. Now stop talking, kid! A big bang’s coming and I don’t want it deafening me.
Taking Simmons’ advice, Leo crams his fingers in his own ears and ducks down behind the cover to wait…
And wait…
And wait…
Leo pulls his fingers out of his ears and risks a glance up at the cliff wall.
LEO
Are you sure it’s coming? Cause I hear all of nada.
An explosion rocks the foreground. Fragments of stone blast out, as well as some metallic fragments. Leo is knocked back down as the fallout roils over the sandbag wall.
Simmons grabs a nearby chunk of metal and waves it in Leo’s face.
SIMMONS
Ha! I told you there were more here!
LEO
Yeah, yeah, you told me. But we’re supposed to find them, not blow them to little, itty bitty pieces.
Simmons balks, blinks several times as he tries to think fast, then smiles in his trademark uncertain Simmons way.
SIMMONS
No problem. I’m sure it was like this to begin with. Ah well, it’ll take them a little while to dig it out of there anyway.
Simmons grabs Leo’s elbow and drags him to his feet and tugs again as he hauls him back toward a collapsible building. As they walk, they dust the dirt off themselves. Leo taps a small communications device clipped on his chest.
From the video camera’s perspective, we can see Transformers writing across the screen. Swindle is now included in the loop, being given full access to what he’s been financing with Leo and Simmons.
SIMMONS
Come on. Let me show you what all those pretty little calendars have bought you. And I’m not talking about this mercenary army we have here, either.
Several guards are standing outside the doorway to the collapsible – the structure resembles the warehouses containing the Terra Cotta Army of Xi’an, China. The mercenaries are bearing small arms as well as heavier Sable-loaded weaponry. Word has spread throughout the world that the Transformers are weak to such weaponry.
Simmons and Leo pass through the door, to where a cluster of scientists are conducting research. An assistant offers the pair a cup of water, which they readily down.
Pan up from their shoulders to a downward shot of the objects they had already uncovered from the excavation. The place looks like a miniature research lab, which, for all intents and purposes, it is. Five TRANSFORMES are strapped to analysis machines, four resemble dinosaurs: one Tyrannosaurus Rex, one Triceratops, a Stegosaurus, and finally, one split into two units resembles a velociraptor. The fifth, separated from the others, is a one-eyed giant – Prime or Megatron’s size – with a brutal-looking gun-arm.
Leo grips the railing surrounding the pit. His eyes bulge.
LEO
Madre de Dios! Is that…? Four of them? I knew about the Triceratops, but these others…?
Simmons’ normally business-like exterior breaks. He’s acting like a kid showing off his greatest treasure in a show-and-tell.
SIMMONS
Five! A Stegosaurus, your Triceratops, and a Tyrannosaurus Rex. The little one – that was been cut in half before we got here, for the record – we think is a Velociraptor. We haven’t been able to figure out what the big purple one changed into, but we will.
Simmons leads the way down the research pit’s metallic stairwell and onto the ground floor. It’s covered in wooden panels. Diesel generators fuel the dozens of monitor units surrounding the aliens.
SIMMONS
I tell you, kid, these are bad ass. At least they would be if they weren’t from the Jurassic and were still functional.
LEO
The Jurassic? You’re kidding me. I mean, it explains why they’re dinosaurs, but… really?
They stop near a research team undergoing some resuscitation processes on the Stegosaurus. They have got the TF hooked up to some Alpha-class paddles. They’re shocking the beast, but are getting no response from it.
Simmons gestures to a cross-section of a petrified tree chain sawed from the Stegosaurus’ back.
SIMMONS
The carbon dating on the petrified tree stuck this beastie’s scales certainly dates them back that far. I highly doubt it picked up that wood post-mortem.
They continue onward toward what Simmons considers to be the crown jewel of the exhibit: the gaping maw of the Tyrano. The thing looks to be in excellent shape, though its metallic surface has been scored and scarred by the lava flow that had trapped them.
Leo reaches up and traces the T-Rex’s tooth, it’s still sharp despite all the untold ages, and he gets a small cut, which he promptly sticks in his mouth.
LEO
Wicked. What do we know about them? What allegiance are they? Autobot or Decepticon?
SIMMONS
Neither! Or both. Well, see for yourself.
Simmons points to the locking mechanism on the T. Rex’s mouth. Scorch marks streak it, and some of the support struts have been damaged.
SIMMONS
See this? We had to get the Jaws of Life to break this thing’s Kung-fu Death grip. Now, come over here!
Simmons takes off at his harried pace down to the other end of the pit, where the non-dinosaur lies inert. He points out the puncture marks on Shockwave’s arm. A panel has been peeled off, revealing a severely damaged infrastructure. Leo puckers his mouth in mute awe.
SIMMONS
The T. Rex had its jaws cramped about this. It was a bonafide bitch getting it apart. Three men were injured in the process. Either it’s some weird NBE love-grip or else these two were trying to rip each other to shreds.
LEO
Early Autobots and Decepticons, then?
SIMMONS
Dinosaurs versus this big guy. The question is, are they Dino-Bots or Dino-Cons?
Leo considers this as the pair work their way back to the exhibition. His brow furrows as the ramifications of this settles in.
LEO
From what Sam told me, following Egypt and Jordan, is that the war is only about 20 thousand years old. These things predate that by millions of years! How old a race are they?
SIMMONS
Old enough to know war inside and out. I’ve seen many N.B.E.’s in my mostly-classified life, kid, and these are in some ways more advanced than many I’ve seen. And even that’s hardly the most exciting part.
LEO
Are you for real, man? What could be more exciting than these?
Simmons takes him to a display screen. Several monitors are blinking, including radar. Linked up to it is a blank screen. From the output to this screen, it’s evident that while it might not be on, it certainly has a direct feed. The technicians here want it off for a reason.
SIMMONS
Know what this is?
LEO
A sonogram? Judging by the indication of rads, it’s a radiometer.
SIMMONS
Spoilsport. The real question, then, is, do you have any idea what it’s picking up?
Simmons doesn’t even wait for an answer. Instead, he flips the monitor on. On it, a camera feed indicates a small but undeniably glittering cluster of crystals.
Leo peers at the monitor for a closer look. He frowns as he tries to make it out.
LEO
What is that? Is it glowing?
SIMMONS
Raw Energon. Crystallized.
Leo’s jaw drops open. He is absolutely dumbfounded by this revelation.
Simmons
Not just the kind that kicks out radiation, but the kind that actually powers these suckers. This is All-Spark times ten, kid. But without the whole shape-shifty metallic goodness of the one your buddy shoved in Megatron’s chest.
Leo frowns at this, but otherwise shows no indication of his betrayal of Sam and the destruction of Bumblebee.
LEO
Swindle, you getting this?
Swindle, in vehicle mode, is chilling outside in the dusty makeshift parking lot that the dig’s personnel have set up near their living quarters. From this elevated spot, Swindle can see the dig site clearly. A seismic plunger drops from his lower chassis and thumps the ground. In response, a readout runs across a holographic projector set in Swindle’s dashboard. The hologram he crafts using the plunger’s readout confirms Simmons’ diagnosis of the material.
SWINDLE
The man’s on a level, kid. Great Primus! It’s Energon! Real Energon! Will you mind if I break out some drums, grow rabbit ears and start
Prancing around like a toy?
Leo and Simmons listen to Swindle’s exultation in rapt silence. Simmons looks bemusedly at Leo, as if waiting for an explanation.
LEO
Uh. Whatever.
SIMMONS
Who is that?
Leo looks a little sheepish, almost guilty. He then shrugs it aside as if Swindle is nothing.
LEO
It’s just Swindle.
Simmons’s face abandons bemusement for dubious.
SIMMONS
Uh huh.
LEO
What? Sam’s the only one who can have his own guardian robot?
Simmons shrugs it off. As he does so, the Hanger begins to shake, starting small, but increasingly, the entire compound begins to shudder.
Simmons and Leo brace themselves on the tables surrounding them.
SIMMONS
What the hell? Is another charge going off?
From the parking lot that Swindle’s holed up in, his holographic readout morphs into one of a craft plummeting towards their position. An alarm claxon goes off inside his cab.
SWINDLE
Leo, get out of there! We have incoming!
Inside the Hanger Pit, Leo and Simmons glance at one another, then bolt up towards the exit. Just as they reach the upper platform, where the observation railing is, a severe terrestrial impact knocks them off their feet.
From his lookout, Swindle looks out at the crash site, a massive crater that has destroyed a good chunk of the excavation materials. The shockwave seems to have uncovered part of another Transformer.
SWINDLE
Leo, you stupid sack of flesh, get your
Tailpipe over to me. Now!
Leo and Simmons both freak out with the impact. They rush outside just in time to see a mammoth TF emerge from the crash site.
THUNDERWING is large, ugly, and armed to the teeth. Large wings flare out behind him as they glow with a deflector field. He runs a brief diagnostic, releasing the turrets from his shoulders, releases weapons housing in his wrists, tests the weapons systems on his secondary arms on his abdomen. When this is all done, he jets from the crash site and lands hard on one of the Hum-Vee’s, totaling it with no damage to himself.
THUNDERWING
Shockwave…
Thunderwing makes a bee-line for the canopy. And, incidentally, Leo and Simmons, too. Initially, Thunderwing seems totally indifferent to the Humans surrounding it until the mercenaries Simmons hired opens fire on him. His shoulder turrets track them automatically, picking off the Human forces with ease while his energo-shielded wings deflect the barrage of Human artillery.
LEO
Oh, ****. Simmons! This way!
Simmons and Leo rush out from the evaluations pit as they endeavor to clamber toward the hill Swindle is parked on. Simmons keeps looking back at Thunderwing, and as he retreats, whips out his cell phone.
As Simmons dials, he realizes that the phone has been wiped out by an Electro-Magnetic Pulse. He is not happy about this.
SIMMONS
Jammed! Sunuvabitch jammed our communications and it’s after our dig! Now that’s just unfair.
Thunderwing’s automated defensive grid catches sight of the two fleeing Humans and targets them for eradication. Before he can fire, a very well-placed shot strikes his shoulder turret, deflecting the shot just enough to knock Leo and Simmons off their feet rather than kill them outright.
The pair stagger up through cactus debris, and out from under the rocks that Thunderwing’s blast had upset. Leo grabs Simmons arm, tries to force him up.
LEO
Come on! We’re getting out of here!
SIMMONS
He’s after our find.
LEO
Simmons! Leave it! It’s not worth your life!
An irate Simmons pushes him off as Swindle speeds up towards them. A turret has emerged from his roof, one that unleashes a barrage against Thunderwing which doesn’t even begin to slow down his march toward the pit.
SIMMONS
Do you have any idea how hard it was getting the permit to dig here? Blood, sweat and more of my mother’s meat than she’d ever want to admit!
LEO
What do you hope to accomplish?!
Simmons ignores Leo, scrambles for one of the Sable launchers that had been blasted near them, and races back towards Thunderwing and the command compound.
Swindle pulls up alongside LEO while continuing his barrage. His door pops open for Leo to jump into.
SWINDLE
Leo, get in now! Man’s got a death wish. Leave him to it, but I’ll be a dishwasher before I let you two suicidal bugs get me killed. Now get in!
Reluctantly, Leo does as Swindle says. They speed off as in the background, Thunderwing continues his pillaging of the dig site. He digs his hands into the simple tin sheet covering the structure and rips the top clear off it.
The five Transformers are revealed in the afternoon light, though Thunderwing has eyes only for Shockwave, the large midnight purple Transformer.
THUNDERWING
Yess!
While Thunderwing becomes distracted by the TF’s in the pit, Simmons pants his way toward the monster. As he nears, he levels the sable launcher at Thunderwing.
SIMMONS
Hey! Hey ugly! Turn around a face one majorly pissed off Human!
At first Thunderwing ignores Simmons, but at his continual barrage of threats and epithets, Thunderwing indulges the Human. He turns to face Simmons.
SIMMONS
That’s right. Now back off slowly, and leave those turret things and those little belly arms right where they are. You even so much as think about using them, and I’ll pop your glowing ass so full of holes that the Swiss will have a new recipe for cheese.
Thunderwing chuckles at Simmons and then does exactly what Simmons orders him NOT to do. He spreads his arms up, and as he does so, transforms his belly arms into blasters.
This really pisses Simmons off. He lifts his weapon at the TF…
SIMMONS
That does it! You’re dead.
… and shoots.
As the gun goes off, a massive blast smashes downward into Thunderwing. The explosive fallout from the shot knocks Simmons far away from Thunderwing. Simmons plunges through a miraculously intact tarp, and smashes against the hood of an excavation vehicle that has been flipped on its side.
Thunderwing, meanwhile, is injured. He glances after Simmons, momentarily confused, thinking that the blast came from Simmons’ weapon rather than from space. His wing shielding systems are down, as, apparently, are his automated defenses as two Cybertronian-looking aerial craft (the fighter is ELITA-1, while the smaller one – resembling a classic UFO – is COSMOS) descend towards him and open fire, blasting him away from the pit.
COSMOS
Thunderwing’s got the stagger on. He’s definitely still cooking. Magnus, he’s yours.
From one of the nearby bluffs, a large, no-nonsense-looking Autobot appears, considers the damage done to Thunderwing, and then transforms into a heavy-duty missile platform. ULTRA MAGNUS aims his launchers at Thunderwing and launches a barrage of missiles.
ULTRA MAGNUS
Acknowledged, Cosmos. Keep up the data feeds. Ground assault underway. Hardhead and Wheeljack, lay down a perimeter. Keep him off-balance, but remember that we want him alive. Keep the direct hits to a minimum. Blaster, use your sonic charges.
The remainder of the Autobot squad takes up positions flanking Thunderwing. Their assault is organized to push him away from the dig pit.
HARDHEAD, an earthen tank, leads the assault, training his secondary missile pods at the ground around THUNDERWING. The scattered effect launches Thunderwing into the air as his primary cannon blasts the Decepticon into the rock wall.
WHEELJACK lingers toward the side in his more combat-oriented Autobot form, where both his arms have been transformed into seismic cannons designed to shake things apart, which he promptly does after Thunderwing thuds to the ground, forcing a considerable avalanche upon the foe.
While the three combatant Autobots (Magnus, Hardhead, and Wheeljack) coordinate their assault on Thunderwing, he struggles to endure the relentless barrage, but after the initial atmospheric assault, he is hard pressed to stay on his feet, let alone put up much of a fight, though he does get several defensive shots out, tagging Hardhead, and knocking Wheeljack off his feet.
Blaster then swoops out of the sky and nails him with his very loud sonic charges. Thunderwing reaches for the sky in a vain plea for aid as his eyes dim – symbolic of a stasis lock – and he collapses.
From his bluff, Ultra Magnus’s missile launchers remain locked on his target while he surveys the damage.
ULTRA MAGNUS
Cosmos. Give me some good news.
Cosmos swoops overhead as the view shifts to his internal sensors. All wavelengths of his not-inconsiderate analysis methods show Thunderwing is currently in stasis lock.
COSMOS
Wheeljack, your sonic charge upgrade is spot-on. Consider the target’s stasis-lock confirmed.
Magnus takes the opportunity to transform into his imposing robot mode. After he does so, he keeps Thunderwing targeted in his missiles. He’s not one to take chances with something as deadly as Thunderwing.
Around him, the last of the Autobot unit reveals themselves: TRAILBREAKER (an all-terrain SUV), TWIN TWIST (a female excavator/drill), and the medic, MINERVA (a medical SAAB). They transform into Robot mode and consider the damage their combatants did to Thunderwing while Magnus gives them their orders.
MAGNUS
Trailbreaker, get a shield around him. Wheeljack, help him out. I want that shield strong enough to nullify the upgrades you did on Blaster’s sonic bombs. Cosmos, take Blaster and get back into the atmosphere. Twin Twist, start excavations on the surrounding area. Minerva, check for natives. If any are still functional get them in working order.
When all his orders have been given, Magnus and the now-transformed Hardhead approach the Pit. They look down at the graveyard of Transformers within.
HARDHEAD
Would you look at that. You think this is why T-Wing broke off from us near Nebulos?
ULTRA MAGNUS
Undoubtedly. Considering how far we’ve come since we had set our ambush there, these wrecks have been here a while.
HARDHEAD
Wheeljack! When you’ve finished up over there, you’ve got to see this!
Wheeljack is busy buttressing Trailbreaker’s force field – which emanates from several receptor dishes popping out of his back – with gravity rods that he plunges into the dirt surrounding Thunderwing. These rods act as energy receptors and conduits, thus solidifying the force field. He waves off Hardhead’s suggestion while he finishes up with the enhancements to the shield.
WHEELJACK
It better be more exciting than that junkyard you dragged me to back on New Tiberiun.
Hardhead scoffs to Ultra Magnus.
HARDHEAD
That was what? Two millennia ago? You’d think he’d have forgotten a joke like that by now.
Hardhead ignores the false insult and calls back to Wheeljack with eagerness evident in his voice.
HARDHEAD
How about a Cybertronian graveyard, you
ingrate? So old that they’ve all but turned to rock.
This piques Wheeljack’s interest. He leaps up, transforms into his vehicle racer mode and speeds over to the pit to join Hardhead and Magnus. He peers down into the pit and as sensor relays burst out from his hands, he clamps his free hand to his head, bobs it up and down with excitement.
WHEELJACK
Fossilized Transformers! These must be from the Golden Age! Great Primus! They might even be Gee-Wun’ers!
ULTRA MAGNUS
Do you have any hypotheses? How did they get here? What were they doing?
Sensor dishes on Wheeljack’s arms affect a quick evaluation scan, one that processes the radioactive isotopes and coordinates the carbon dating.
WHEELJACK
They’re long before the war, that’s for
Sure. Only way we’ll be able to figure out what they’re doing here is to revive them.
Magnus frowns at the idea that these fossils might somehow be revived. Then he concedes.
MAGNUS
Fine. Do what you can. Time is of the essence. Whatever called Thunderwing off a battle with us must be big. Bigger than just some ancient dormant Cybertronians. I want to know what it is.
EXT. NEW MEXICO DESERT – LATE AFTERNOON
Swindle hastens down the highway, passing cars as he and Leo maneuver down toward the Mexican border. Leo glances back again and again, wondering just what happened back at the dig site.
LEO
What was that!? And what about that! Dios Mio! What the hell is going on?
The pair continues driving along the highway, past a gas station/car wash combo called “WASH N’ ROLL-OUT.” A holo-vid pops up from Swindle’s dashboard, depicting Swindle in robot mode. The holo looks irritated.
SWINDLE
Shaddup, kid. I’m trying to figure something out.
LEO
Like what? What that humongous Transformer was? Damn man! Devastator wasn’t even that scary! What the hell was that thing? What was it after? Was it an Autobot or a Decepticon? Dammit,
Swindle, what the hell did we discover to dig that thing up?
Swindle’s dashboard holo holds up his hands in a visual attempt to convince Leo to relax. He then points back up the road where they came.
SWINDLE
Just chill out a minute. We’re fine. That blast you saw? Yeah, that was an Inter-Planetray Concussive burst.
Leo does a double-take, glancing back toward the dig-site and then fixes his eyes back on the hologram on the dash.
LEO
A what? English, man!
SWINDLE
Humans. I swear you couldn’t even see your nose without a holo of it. Basically an IPC is a giant orbital assault weapon. Like one of your ICBM’s on All-Spark juice. You can be sure that if it nailed the dig-site monster, that monster is tin foil.
Swindle’s dashboard holo considers this for a second and then shrugs in some semblance of sympathy before greed dominates him again.
SWINDLE
It also means that your pal is probably a protoplasmic puddle now. On the positive side, I think I figured out just what all this signifies for us.
Swindle’s reaction takes Leo by surprise. He considers the ramification of his partner’s statement, first shock at Simmons’ seemingly inevitable death, then a blink of incredulity, then, after a moment, the more enjoyable prospect of fiscal reward smoothes out the transition for him.
LEO
How much? Who are you thinking? The Autobots or the Decepticons? What kind of numbers are we talking about here?
SWINDLE
Well, let’s consider the facts. We have a prehistoric Cybertronian gravesite
so classified that your boss-
Leo looks annoyingly and somewhat guiltily out the window at the mention of Sam.
LEO
Ex-Boss. The personal fortune Simmons and I made on calendars and websites managed to keep this Seeker find from N.E.S.T. until we could determine what allegiance they were. That hardly makes it classified.
SWINDLE
Please. Give the credit where it belongs. If it weren’t for me, your pitiful fortune couldn’t keep this quiet. Nor could it finance those mercenaries of yours.
LEO
(Under his breath.)
For all they good they good against that.
Leo
(out loud)
Fine, I’ll give you your credit. That doesn’t change the fact that Sam’s now my ex-boss.
SWINDLE
Sure. The point is, he’s ignorant of the dig. Take that, add the Primus of all terrorcons dropping out of the cosmos, and then an IPC blast that frags it.
Swindle’s calm rationale and financial hints have begun calming Leo down. Greed proves to be a powerful emotional sedative. He’s beginning to settle down into the Jeep’s seat.
LEO
Ok. So what does it all come out to?
Swindle’s hologram smirks. One of the advantages of giving his face a more-Human-like veneer thoroughly enables the prospect of more Human replication.
SWINDLE
Well. You see, to put it simply…
The holo Swindle licks his lips.
SWINDLE
…What do you want?
It takes a moment for Leo to make sense of this. When he does, Leo can’t help himself. Suddenly it seems to him that Simmons’ sacrifice has just bought him everything he would ever want. He grabs the “Oh ****” handle to ease himself into the authentic rationale of what Swindle just told him.
LEO
Wow.
SWINDLE
Yeah, I thought you’d like that.
LEO
Wow.
SWINDLE (sarcastically)
Yeah. I got that message the first time.
LEO
Um. So where to now?
SWINDLE
Panama. I got some contacts there that can help make all our dreams come true.
And with that, the pair continues on down the road, toward the US/Mexico border. Twilight begins to settle as they drive onward.
INT. A BATHROOM – AFTERNOON
Close up of a bathroom stall. Retching is heard from behind the door.
RON WITWICKY comes into the bathroom. He is dressed up in a suit and tie, looking somewhat thoroughly uncomfortable in the get-up. He tugs at the bow tie.
RON
Sam? Sam? Where are you?
Ron knocks on a door.
RON
Sam? You in here?
BATHROOM PATRON #1
In use, buddy! Find another one.
RON
Sorry.
Ron hears the retching and abandons this first stall as he follows the retching to the source, where he raps on the door.
RON
Sam? Hey, it’s dad. You ok, son?
Profile of Sam in the bathroom stall. He’s facing the toilet. Wiping away some vomit goo, he picks his head up a little.
SAM
Sam isn’t here right now. Go away.
Outside the bathroom door, Ron looks uncomfortable, and not just with the tie. He hates the thought of being unable to help out his son.
RON
Sam, come on. You have to come out of there. You know how important this is. You can’t spend all day sitting in there, puking out your lunch.
Inside the toilet stall, SAM manages to rest his head on his arm. He looks terrible. A small splotch of goo is noticeable on the lapel of his suit.
SAM
No worries there. I’ve long since graduated to intestines.
The outer bathroom door opens. JUDY WITWICKY comes in. She’s all dressed up and looking very pretty, if extraordinarily concerned for her baby boy.
JUDY
Ron! What’s taking so long? Is he alright?
A man, washing his hands at the sink, sees Judy and frowns at her.
BATHROOM PATRON #2
The ladies’ room is on the other side.
JUDY
Sorry. My son’s not well. It’ll just take a minute.
Ron frowns, amazed by her brash entrance.
RON
Judy! Get out! We can handle it. Sam doesn’t need you coming in here like this.
Judy frowns at her husband.
JUDY
Ronald! This is my baby we’re talking about. He just lost his best friend, and I just want to make sure that he’s alright.
While the two stand outside the bathroom stall arguing, another, particularly vehement retch overcomes their conversation.
JUDY
Is that Sam? Oh, my poor baby!
INT. STALL. Sam groans and leans back against the stall wall.
SAM
I’m fine. Just leave me alone. No, better yet, let them know exactly what they’re getting into. Tell them that if the Autobots are given U.N. sanction, that everything will be perfect. Don’t forget all the good parts, that once they join up, any hope of a normal life will disappear forever, their so-called partners will turn on them, and that the Decepticons will rip their best friends to shreds. Then make sure they know what guilt can do to someone.
While Sam talks, the bathroom door opens up again and a pair of beautiful legs in high heels clicks their way through the bathroom, up to the Witwicky’s, and comes to a halt outside Sam’s stall.
MIKAELA
Samuel James Witwicky. Huh. Such a strong name for such a baby. If only the Samuel James Witwicky I knew was more of a man, then I might even think about marrying him.
A shot of the bathroom stall door as Sam scuffles to his feet, and opens the door a fraction.
SAM
What’s that about marriage?
Glamour shot of Mikaela as she smiles at Sam. She looks incredible even if she is standing outside the bathroom stall in a Pentagon bathroom.
MIKAELA
Just what you needed to pick your ass up off the pity floor.
Sam jabs a finger up at her, and looks thoroughly annoyed.
SAM
That’s not fair. That’s cheap, mean, and… and… unfair. You think that just because I’m vulnerable right now, that you can pick on me.
Mikaela frowns at him, and grabs him by his tie.
MIKALEA
Will you stop! No matter what you feel right now you’re the only one who can do it. The Autobots need international support if they’re to protect Earth from the Decepticons. N.E.S.T. can’t do it on Uncle Sam’s paycheck alone.
Sam rips himself away from Mikaela, shrugs his jacket back into place.
SAM
You didn’t see him, Mikaela! You didn’t see what that Decepticon did to him!
Sam staggers over to a sink. It is a big sink, shiny, and well able to support Sam when he leans down on it. He looks exhausted and spent, as if he has been carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders for a long time.
SAM
You didn’t see him.
SAM
(whispers)
And it’s my fault.
Mikaela braves his vomit breath and vomit dappled tie and puts her arms around him.
MIKAELA
If you feel guilty, then do this for him. If your roles were reversed, what would he do? Would Bumblebee cower in a smelly bathroom or would he go out there guns blasting?
Sam looks up from the sink to the mirror image of his girlfriend. She smiles encouragingly at him.
SAM
And I thought that “wife” thing was cruel.
MIKAELA
Face it, buster. I know all your buttons.
Sam frowns at her, but it’s a frown of resignation. He stands up and turns to face his family.
SAM
He was supposed to be here. It was supposed to be the two of us in there.
Judy steps forward with a handkerchief.
JUDY
Let me get that. Sam, I know this is hard, sweetie, but sometimes, you just have to make do with what you’re given. If you’re given lemons…
Sam cuts her off, rolling his bloodshot eyes.
SAM
I know, I know, make lemonade.
Judy gives him a “what are you retarded?” look and finishes dabbing his tie clean.
JUDY
Absolutely not. You cram those lemons down the throats of the UN until they can’t help but love them.
Sam manages a weak smile. One that Judy immediately responds to with a big, motherly smile of her own.
SAM
Kind of like what you did with me, huh?
Judy looks furious at her son. Behind her, Ron chortles.
JUDY
What? Who do you think you are, young man?
Judy hears Ron chortling and turns on him.
JUDY
If you think that’s funny, mister, you’re sleeping on the couch for the next week.
Ron immediately appeals to Judy. Despite all his bluster, he knows where he stands in this relationship.
RON
What? I didn’t say anything.
Judy strikes the most commanding, terrifying, motherly pose she can and points out the door.
JUDY
That’s it. Everyone out. Now!
Ron grabs Sam’s arm and leads him out of the bathroom and into the gleaming halls of the Pentagon.
Judy turns to Mikaela, who is smirking at the whole interaction, with some stern motherly advice.
JUDY
See what we have to put up with these boys? Most of the time it’s nothing but damage control.
Outside the bathroom, in the Pentagon hallway, Ron clutches Sam’s shoulder in annoyance, while he appeals to Sam’s sense of filial piety.
RON
See what you’ve done to me? Now you’ve got me sleeping on the couch on your behalf. You think other fathers do so much for their kids? This deal better work, or else I’m going to ground you big time for this. Big time.
EXT. PENTAGON STEPS – MID-DAY
Sam, Mikaela, Ron, and Judy descend the steps. Sam looks a little brighter than he did before, but not much. The prospect before him remains a daunting one.
SAM
That still doesn’t change what we have to work with. I mean, of all the Autobots, couldn’t Optimus have sent someone a little less…
At the foot of the Pentagon stairs, two vehicles are parked: SKIDS and MUDFLAP, both of whom have been listening in to the conversation, and decide to toss their loose change into the mix. They speak out of their radios.
SKIDS
Handsome?
MUDFLAP
Awesome?
SKIDS
Kickin’ of Decepticon butt?
MUDFLAP
Smart?
SKIDS
Smart? No way, you’s a dumbass. Yeah, I went there! I should’ve come alone.
MUDFLAP
No way, man! You couldn’t even find DC widdout me.
As the two cars bicker back and forth, they begin to swat each other with their doors.
Sam freaks out at their antics. He runs up and spanks both their hoods.
SAM
Hey! Enough of that! What are you trying to do? Bring attention to yourselves? Pull yourselves together.
The two vehicles somehow manage to look remarkably sheepish as they cease their antics.
MUDFLAP & SKIDS (together)
Sorry, Sam.
Sam adopts the best authoritarian and passionate posture he can. It’s almost identical to the pose his mother just struck if a little more masculine. But not much.
SAM
Look, I don’t know why Optimus sent you to represent the Autobots…
Skids interrupts Sam’s lecture.
SKIDS
Oh, dat’s easy! My main boss-trukk, he sent us here ‘cause of our secret weapon.
Sam recoils as if he were just slapped.
SAM
Secret… secret weapon? You two? If it’s at all destructive, I’m leaving you two here. This is no time for you two to be playing around.
Mudflap, as a car, somehow manages to look injured.
MUDFLAP
No. For real, B! We got a real secret weapon. Doc Ratchet’s been working on it wid us. He said we’s ready now.
SKIDS
It’s not even destructive!
MUDFLAP
Least not ‘less a ‘Con comes rollin’ in on us.
SKIDS
But if one does…!
MUDFLAP
KaBlam! One scraplet fo’ a ‘Con.
SKIDS
Boo-!
As the two complete this exultation, they manage to transform just their arms and slap hands.
MUDFLAP
-Yah!
Sam and family are freaked out by this blatant display of idiocy. The idea is to maintain somewhat of a low profile before the UN hearing. A low profile is something that neither Autobot manages to understand very well.
RON
Whoa! Whoa, whoa!
JUDY
Oh, great. Here they go again.
SAM
Guys! This! This is exactly what I’m talking about!
Sam turns to Mikaela. He’s beginning to panic again.
SAM
I can’t do this. How am I supposed to do this? I can’t. I swear, this… this is too much to ask. Even of me.
Mikaela takes his face in her hands.
MIKAELA
Sam. Sam, look at me.
Sam manages to calm his rolling eyes and accomplishes the monumental task of looking into her eyes. Somehow, the sight of her beautiful blues soothe him a bit. His panic is still there, but it’s not as bad as it was.
MIKAELA
Sam, you can do this. Now just sit back and let me handle these two.
SAM
O-ok.
Mikaela lets go of Sam and strides up to the two Autobot cars.
MIKALEA
Hi.
MUDFLAP and SKIDS
Hi, Ms. Mikaela.
MIKALEA
Sam’s having a hard time with this, ok. So be good for him, will you? You don’t want us going back to Optimus Prime to tell him that we didn’t get the UN support, now, do you?
SKIDS
That’s what we’s tryin’ ta say! We’s only tryin’ ta help!
MIKAELA
I know. But you can do so by keeping your mouths shut, ok?
SKIDS and MUDFLAP
Yes, Ms. Mikaela.
MIKALEA
Good boys.
From a great distance, a police siren is heard wailing. Mikaela jokes with the two Autobots, trying to maintain a positive mood.
MIKALEA
See, boys. If you don’t behave, it’ll draw the cops. That’s the last thing we need to keep that low profile.
Sam allows himself a momentary distraction from the people around him and looks down the road as the Police car speeds into view. Sam frowns at the sight of the black vehicle, doubting – if for only a moment – the memory that the vehicle calls to his mind. Ron notices Sam’s distraction.
RON
Sam? What is it?
SAM
I don’t know. I just… It can’t be. Come on. They’re probably waiting for us by now.
As Sam and his family turn to go, the Police car veers off the road, gunning its engine for the Humans walking before it.
Judy notices the car first, and screams. The four manage to scatter just in time to avoid being rolled over by the speeding car.
As it slams on its breaks to come back for a second run, the body of the vehicle collapses in upon itself, revealing it to be BARRICADE. He unleashes one of his wrist blades that blasts towards the Humans…
BARRICADE
Fleshlings! Graahh!
… only to be snared in the large arm of Skids, who has managed to transform into robot mode just before the ‘Con could get the shot off.
SKIDS
Ow! Damn, man! That hurts!
Beside him, Mudflap, also transformed into his ugly robot form, giggles at the blades protruding from his twin’s arm.
MUDFLAP
Heh! Sucks ta be you.
SKIDS
Shut up, bro! I’s gwan’ pound you after this Decepti-creep.
Barricade is undaunted by the buffoons and while they bicker, he rushes up on them, kicks Skids out of the way. On the follow through, he elbows Mudflap in the head, and smacks him down. As evil as Barricade looks, he somehow looks even angrier than normal.
BARRICADE
Where is Bumblebee? He owes me a rematch.
MUDFLAP
Gak! Step off, man! What you got ‘gainst Bee? Was it you? Fo’ real? You punk! You got any idea what you did to our yellow buddy? Man, it just ain’t cool!
Barricade growls at Mudflap as he smacks him in the face several times in the vain effort of getting him to shut his trap.
BARRICADE
Prattling fool, shut up! I’ll crush you like I will that interfering bug.
From the sidelines, Skids has recovered and throws himself at Barricade, knocking the growling Decepticon off his twin. He then offers Skids a hand up and together, they regard the ‘Con with a new light, as they immediately assume that Barricade was the one who dismantled their friend.
SKIDS
Oh, snap, bro! You hear that? He’s after the ‘Bee!
MUDFLAP
An’ he’s saying bads ‘bout us!
The Autobot twins crack knuckles and necks as they gear up for a serious ass-whooping, threatening with pointing fingers and macho posturing.
Barricade growls at the pair, especially as they’ve managed to maneuver directly into the path of his prey.
SKIDS
Yo! ‘Con! Leave dem little pinkies alone!
MUDFLAP
Yeah, cause we’re about to open up a big can of whoop-ass on you!
The pair waste no more time talking. Instead, they smack their small hands together as gears and gyros meld and merge into one another. Their separate faces begin to disintegrate as their eyes and ears shift out and back into one another to create a singular face. Their individual large arms become the arms of a single, much large Transformer, PERCEPTOR.
Perceptor doesn’t even bother with an introduction. He leaps at the bewildered Barricade before the ‘Con can react, yanks his arms up and steps hard on Barricade’s chest.
Barricade screams in agony and stabs Perceptor’s foot with the pincers on his headlights. Perceptor takes the pain in stride, flips Barricade over and while giving him a headlock, slams his free fist into Barricade three times, leaving the Decepticon’s back broken and smoking.
As a last-ditch effort, Barricade unleashes a barrage of explosives on the ground, blasting himself from Perceptor. Staggering, Barricade limps off and transforms into his Cruiser mode. The mode is looking quite a bit the worse for the wear. He just got his ass handed to him.
PERCEPTOR
Decepticon cowardice rears its ugly head. Samuel? Mikaela? Mr. and Mrs. Witwicky? The coast is clear.
From their hiding places back up the steps where they had all retreated, the Witwicky’s and Mikaela hesitantly emerge to gawk at this strange unified creature composed of Mudflap and Skids.
SAM
What was that about?
PERCEPTOR
From what we can infer from the assault, the Decepticons’ intelligence has learned of our endeavor to attain an alliance with the United Nations. That they sent an assassin to intercept you is an indication that they fear our proposed partnership. Optimus will be pleased to learn of this.
Sam is dumbfounded by the depth of Perceptor’s speech. His face is slack-jawed but bordering smiling. He never would have expected even a combined form of the twins to be so eloquent and profound.
SAM
What happened to you two?
PERCEPTOR
Please refer to us as Perceptor. We are the combined unity of the dissociative personalities of Skids and Mudflap.
SAM
Which means what, exactly?
PERCEPTOR
Without each other to interfere in our decision-making, we are far better able to assimilate and compute information.
SAM
Assimilate and compute, huh?
PERCEPTOR
Our energies are far better spent solving exterior problems rather than internal, do you not agree.
SAM
I think I’m beginning to understand why Prime sent you two with me, now. Just don’t split up.
Perceptor balks at the idea. He waves the idea aside with a generous frown directed at Sam.
PERCEPTOR
To our rationale, that would be counter-productive and could only hinder our endeavors inside. Come. Our delegation awaits.
"I couldn't put it down,"
Eliot Vohy about Escape from the Spotlight.
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