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aww finished already cant wait for more -im very impatont - impashiont?? -I want things quickly- and its gonna suck to read the rest in installment -great though
i would have changed it to oh slag! -or even ***** mostly because i scrolled down to fast and ecspected it to end with something acctually about vector sigma but also because its better to end it without explanation also because to translate it would be oh god or jesus crist but if my head got cut off (and i was a robot) i'd probibly be more mother fcuker!! or atleast oh slag! to me jesus crist seem more not again where as slag would be more wtf
aaannnd i was gonna mention this anyway souls-sparks firstly to translate jesus crist to vector sigma conflicts with not wanting to say sparks instead of souls a bit and imo spark is more apropiote because not only is soul our cheesy name for our contiontness even translteing it -its a spark of life - an actuale phisical thing they can see and even take out, plus its an acctual spark of energy
some actual mistakes
knuckled crack instead of knuckles and
Skywarp think of how Thundercracker instead of thought

anyway great story keep(hurry) it up and get some more up there
-supose i'll get to those mosaics now

ok you spoted knuckels

Will try to do more after work tomorrow.

Well, it wasn't really meant to be a variant of Jesus Christ or anything, I actually just wanted to reference the Dr. Smoov parodies where Prime uses "Vector Sigma..." as a curse.

As for souls/sparks, it really is just personal preference which I will continue to follow unashamedly. Every time someone mentions "sparks" in relation to the life force of a Transformer it just makes my eye twitch.

The way in which I have imagined it is thus: (Perhaps I should add this to the story too, to explain it better for the readers.)

Replicating a brain on the scale of a human mechanically, is no easy feat. So I thought to myself, I can use the quasi mystical element of TF life force and turn it into something semi-plausible.

"The eyes are the windows to the soul". Eyes send information directly to the brain, which uses electrical impulses to communicate.

I thought to myself what if the Quintesson came up with a way to harvest these complicated patterns of energy and store them within individual cells inside Vector Sigma for implantation into Transformers.

I could call it a soul transfer because that's easy to understand.

It's all nonsense I know, but without something like that the story wouldn't work, and neither would have the actual episode I got the idea from.

Despite how I may appear, with my contemptuous disregard of Primus and all, I'm actually a very "spiritual" person, for lack of a better word. I believe in souls and all that junk, so I don't mind too much writing them into the story. Because you know, the alternative is just too depressing for my mind to handle.

And they're very important to my planned ending as well, soppy as it is. I'm a spiritual romantic who loves giant fighting robots, so naturally I'd take concepts like this and mash them together as best I can without turning it turning into Simon Furman level transformer spiritual babble.

dr smoov rules
the main thing realy is the added explanation i think it takes away from the i dont know -goodness of it
even if you keep it vector sigma i would have got it it just thati was kind of expectin something different -when i saw vector sigma in caps i realised it was the end when it thouht there was more coming
anyway im just focusing on that becase it was the last thing there

asfor sparks/souls i wouldnt expect you to change it espcialy if it ties into the story and i completely understand the cringeness thats why i rationilesed it for myself and it dose make sense that it would be called a spark as the soul would be housed in the spark core or soul casing which is removeable and looks like a spark of energy it definatly exsists and though a human may belive it is a mystical thing imo a decepticon or any robot realy would know it a science mayby still translateing it to soul but still an individual energy pattern held in a casing inside them selfs -i dont think it detracts from any mystical sense eather -also it is far more beliveable that humans could invent a way to transfer brainwave patterns (the soul is written into our dna witch..

sorry im so tired i can hardly see the screen and im getting into phosophical terrotry witch i could go on about all night and has nothng to do with your story
but think you should make your peace with sparks because there never gonna go away

*just noticed "prior to their war with the Autobots. The Quintesson prior to the rise of" the repetition is is the notes at the top

pps simon furman isnt all primus and matrix theres some realy good stuff in there -skywarp too and th old comics are realy realy good - i grew up with the cartoon and only recently started reading them and in many(most?) ways they are better

anyway dont listen to anything i say keep writing!

hey tekka can u do a preface for ur book? i wanna read it, but don't wanna read to much of its against a white background (mite strain the old eyes)

so i mite print it off if i likes the sounds of it, thanks

You'd be better off just reading the first chapter. If you want me to change the colours to white text on black background I can do that for you. Just let me know.

The formatting on these story posts is not the best. I've been publishing stuff on fanfiction.net for a while and the formatting there is a bit better. Makes it easier to proof.

It's like anime.adult.fanfiction.net - the format changes with the cut/paste. Usually for the worst.

I may try to post one of my earlier one-shots on this site. Most of my stuff is 20,000 to 60,000 words and 10+ chapters. Just too long for this type of posting.

But if you need a beta - My specialty is the G1 & Armada fandoms. Though I'm working my way through the entire Beast Wars series as we speak.

What's wrong with my formatting exactly? Let me know and I'll fix it.

I fixed the format errors by changing which program is opening it. Seems to be another Vista issue. (damn Microsoft)

BTW, notice some consistent tag issues.

Example:

“Humans.” Skywarp said out loud in a disgusted tone.

Should be:

"Humans," Skywarp said out loud in a disgusted tone.

Or could be:

"Humans!" Skywarp said out loud in a disgusted tone.

Tags are a very hard thing to get right. So it's not a real big issue, but you might want to read a bit on this area of grammar.

Alrighty. Thanks for the input, keep it coming!