Seibertron.com Energon Pub Forums

Disclaimer: As much as I would like to, I do not own the Transformers. They're Hasbro and Takara's toys, I just play with them.

Warnings: Mild language, illogical events, crack-ish pairings (ArceexProwl; MegatronxStrika); excessive use of the word ‘dude’;

Soooo. Got another one of my harebrained ideas. This actually is inspired by two things: a friend’s Saint Seiya fan fic and the works of Meg Cabot. The former is actually a mix of e-mail and IM dialogue while Cabot relies almost solely on e-mail in a couple of her books. I’m serious, the entire story is told through e-mail. I decided to try my hand. Here you go!

Chapter 1: The Love Octagon

TO: prowl @ autobotcity . net
FROM: dajazzman @ autobotcity . net
Subject: SHE LIKES YOU!!!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Dude, really, Arcee is like in love with you! I heard about it from Hot Rod. Said he was turned down by her for you.

Jazz

TO: dajazzman @ autobotcity . net
FROM: prowl @ autobotcity . net
Subject: Re: SHE LIKES YOU!!!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Jazz, how many times have I told you that you need to pay more attention to your job rather than pestering me?

Prowl

TO: prowl @ autobotcity . net
FROM: dajazzman @ autobotcity . net
Subject: Re: SHE LIKES YOU!!!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
PROWL! Did you not pay attention to my first e-mail?

ARCEE has a thing for YOU. You are now like the envy of everyone and their grandmother around here!

Jazz

TO: dajazzman @ autobotcity . net
FROM: prowl @ autobotcity . net
Subject: Re: SHE LIKES YOU!!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------
So is that the reason that Hot Rod keeps glaring at me? Its sort of annoying when I’m just sitting here peacefully doing my paperwork and the scamp is eyeing me as if I was Starscream or something.

Prowl

TO: prowl @ autobotcity . net
FROM: dajazzman @ autobotcity . net
Subject: Re: SHE LIKES YOU!!!!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
The most babeliscious femme in Autobot City has a crush on you and all you can think about is Hot Rod being mad at you? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?! FOR THE LOVE OF PRIMUS TAP THAT!!!!

I don’t know you, I really don’t.

Jazz
____________________________________________________________________
TO: dajazzman @ autobotcity . net
FROM: femmemagnet @ autobotcity . net
Subject: An explanation is required here.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Jazz, how in Primus’ name did you change my e-mail address? And why? Please change it back. I’m your commander, I think I deserve a little more respect from you.

Optimus

TO: femmemagnet @ autobotcity . net
FROM: dajazzman @ autobotcity . net
Subject: Re: An explanation is required here.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Aw, but Prime, it’s funny! And anyway, you could always do what I do and set up two separate accounts. One for business, one for pleasure. I mean, the two of us seem to talk by e-mail enough to warrant two accounts.

Jazz

TO: dajazzman @ autobotcity . net
FROM: femmemagnet @ autobotcity . net
Subject: Re: An explanation is required here.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I have to say you’re right Jazz.

Optimus
____________________________________________________________________
TO: ruler0of0everything @ cybertron . com
FROM: femmemagnet @ autobotcity . net
Subject: Gossip
----------------------------------------------------------------------
How’s everything at your end? Autobot City’s in an uproar because apparently Arcee prefers Prowl to both Springer and Hot Rod. Primus help us all.

OP

TO: femmemagnet @ autobotcity . net
FROM: ruler0of0everything @ cybertron . com
Subject: Re: Gossip
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Eh, same old, same old. Starscream’s planning a coup, Shockwave’s inventing a new master weapon, and Soundwave is my bitch.

So, what’s this about Prowl and Arcee?

Megs

PS: Love the new screenie.

TO: ruler0of0everything @ cybertron . com
FROM: femmemagnet @ autobotcity . net
Subject: Re: Gossip
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Thanks.

And I’m not sure of all the details yet seeing as I haven’t talked to Jazz more on it yet, but yeah, apparently Arcee has a crush on Prowl. Why she does I have no clue since Springer and Hot Rod are always fluttering around her. Plus Bumblebee, Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, and for crying out loud - to borrow a human phrase - even Starscream have expressed interest. You’d think she’d develop a tendre for one of them.

OP

TO: femmemagnet @ autobotcity . net
FROM: ruler0of0everything @ cybertron . com
Subject: Re: Gossip
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Who knows with femmes. I’m still trying to figure out what makes Strika tick. How is Elita by the way?

And e-mail me when you find out more on the Prowl’n’Arcee front.

Megs

TO: ruler0of0everything @ cybertron . com
FROM: femmemagnet @ autobotcity . net
Subject: Re: Gossip
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Can do.

And Elita’s doing fine. She’s as hung up on the Arcee’n’Prowl thing as everyone else is.

OP
______________________________________________________________
TO: pinkpwnsu @ autobotcity . net
FROM: optimusfemme @ autobotcity . net
Subject: YOU DID IT?!
---------------------------------------------------------------------
You did it! You really did!

Elita

TO: optimusfemme @ autobotcity . net
FROM: pinkpwnsu @ autobotcity . net
Subject: I DIDN’T!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Seriously, I didn’t. I revealed the truth to Hot Rod and now it’s everywhere! OH Primus . . . .Prowl will never like me now! Elita, what do I do?!

Arcee

TO: pinkpwnsu @ autobotcity . net
FROM: optimusfemme @ autobotcity . net
Subject: Re: I DIDN’T!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Hon, you’ve got to actually speak to him. I’m sure Prowl will at least consent to a date at the very least.

Elita

TO: optimusfemme @ autobotcity . net
FROM: pinkpwnsu @ autobotcity . net
Subject: Re: I DIDN’T
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Is there an unspoken ‘or else’ hidden in there?

Arcee

_____________________________________________________________________
TO: crackers @ cybertron .com
FROM: screamer @ cybertron .com
Subject: NYUUUU!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Arcee. Is. Taken. *cries* Megatron just e-mailed me with the news the giddy fragger. He said that Arcee has a thing for that Autobot wimp Prowl.

My life is destroyed.

Starscream


TO: screamer @ cybertron.com
FROM: crackers @cybertron.com
Subject: Re: NYUUUU!
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Prowl hunh? I told you to move on her earlier. But nooooooooo. Let’s wait and wait and lose her to some Auto-aft who has a verb for a name!

Smooth Screamie, just smooth.

Thundercracker
_________________________________________________________

TO: crackers@cybertron.com
FROM: warped@cybertron.com
Subject: Mutiny
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Can we kill Starscream? PWEAZE?!

Skywarp

Ha! That is SO funny! Good job.

OP = femmemagnet

LOL! These are funny. Can't wait to read more!

^^ Thankees.

Chapter 2: Invitation

TO: warped@cybertron.com
FROM: crackers@cybertron.com
Subject: Re: Mutiny
---------------------------------------------------------------------
No, we can’t kill Starscream because A) that will only start a cycle, B) he’s usually not this annoying so why bother, and C) I want to see what happens now. Prowl is known for rebuffing the advances of mechs and femmes alike. Now that he’s been given a kick in the aft, Starscream will move in to pick up the pieces, the opportunistic slagger that he is.

Patience my dear friend, and we will witness the biggest fiasco of all time.

Thundercracker

_________________________________________________________________
TO: prowl@autobotcity.net
FROM: arcee@autobotcity.net
Subject: I want to ask you something.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Would you, um, like to come with me this Friday night to the Senshi Bar over on Beta Moon? Jazz said that’s the night he and his band were playing so I was just wondering.

Arcee

__________________________________________________________________

TO: dajazzman@autobotcity.net
FROM: prowl@autobotcity.net
Subject: You slagger.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
You gave her my address didn’t you?! And you told her about your fragging band!

Prowl

TO: prowl@autobotcity.net
FROM: dajazzman@autobotcity.net
Subject: Re: You slagger.
------------------------------------------------------------------- I take it she e-mailed you with an invite?

Dude, for the love of all that is holy and just, say yes! The femme is nuts for you and I can tell by your uncharacteristic anger at me that something is going on in your head/heart too! For Primus’ sake the femme doesn’t have cooties or whatever the Earthlings call it so just chill! Take her out, have a good time. You are the only officer without a significant other. Look at Magnus. Ironhide. Prime. ME. We all have someone to take out for a night on the town and we’re happy about it. Do us all a favor and find you one.
Jazz

TO: dajazzman@autobotcity.net
FROM: prowl@autobotcity.net
Subject: Re: You slagger.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Do you want the truth Jazz?

Yes. I find her attractive. So attractive in fact that if you’ll think about it I barely speak to her.

Its not that I don’t want to go out on Friday with her Jazz, its that I can’t.

Prowl
___________________________________________________________________
TO: femmemagnet@autobotcity.net
FROM: dajazzman@autobotcit.net
Subject: YOU WILL NEVER BELIEVE IT!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Prowl. Is. Shy. He told me he can barely SPEAK to Arcee, let alone date her!

Prime, what are we going to do?

Jazz

TO: dajazzman@autobotcity.net
FROM: femmemagnet@autobotcity.net
Subject: Re: YOU WILL NEVER BELIEVE IT!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Wait a sec Jazz, what do you mean what are we going to do? This is Prowl and Arcee’s affair, we’re just spectators.

Optimus

TO: femmemagnet@autobotcity.net
FROM: dajazzman@autobotcity.net
Subject: Re: YOU WILL NEVER BELIEVE IT!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
But Prime! We as fellow officers have a duty to our comrade to help him work through his troubles. And anyway, WE don’t have to do it ourselves. Elita can do it for us.

Jazz

TO: dajazzman@autobotcity.net
FROM: femmemagnet@autobotcity.net
Subject: Re: YOU WILL NEVER BELIEVE IT!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Devious. Elita said she’d love to help out.

Optimus

TO: femmemagnet@autobotcity.net
FROM: dajazzman@autobotcity.net
Subject: Re: YOU WILL NEVER BELIEVE IT!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
You’re having fun with this aren’t you?

Jazz

_____________________________________________________________________
TO: ruler0of0everything@cybertron.com
FROM: femmemagnet@autobotcity.net
Subject: Prowl is shy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------Apparently he returns feelings for Arcee, but he’s too shy to act on them. Elita is going to help Jazz and me try to get them together. I think having a girlfriend will help Prowl’s disposition. Look at what it did for Ironhide.

OP

TO: femmemagnet@autobotcity.net
FROM: ruler0of0everything@cybertron.com
Subject: Re: Prowl is shy.
---------------------------------------------------------------------Prowl is too shy?! I would have never guessed really. He just seemed to be really cold.

And I’d agree about the girlfriend thing. I remember what Ironhide was like before he started dating Chromia. *shivers*

So, what’s your plan?

Megs

TO: ruler0of0everything@cybertron.com
FROM: femmemagnet@autobotcity.net
Subject: Re: Prowl is shy.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I have no idea. Elita is currently on AIM powwowing with Jazz about it. I don’t know why they’re on AIM since they could just discuss it in the rec room but Elita said something about “Walls have ears.”
Thinking about the last prank Sunny’n’Sides pulled, I just realized that being on AIM is probably much safer than being in the rec room.

OP
______________________________________________________________________

Dancebot: So what’re we going to do?
Queenie: I dunno. How do you think we can get them together without suspicion?
Dancebot: Frag suspicion, I just want to get those two together.
Queenie: True. I heard from Strika that Starscream has a huge crush on Arcee.
Dancebot: NO FRAGGING WAY!!!!!!!
Queenie: Way. She says that he’s heartbroken.
Dancebot: I almost feel sorry for him.
Queenie: almost?
Dancebot: Its Starscream. The fact that I feel sorry in the first place is a miracle.
Queenie: True.
Dancebot: So, back to Prowl
Queenie: I could hang out with him a little bit. Let him get to know a femme
Dancebot: Nah. I think the problem is more which femme it is rather than femmes as a whole.
Queenie: You have a point there.
Dancebot: Any other ideas?
Queenie: Nope.
Dancebot: *sigh* I guess we’ll have to let him figure it out.
Queenie: Primus help the slagger.
______________________________________________________________________

TO: ruler0of0everything@cybertron.com
FROM: queen0of0everything@cybertron.com
Subject: Starscream
---------------------------------------------------------------------We need to do something about him. I know you can’t seem to stand him, but he is one of my favorite Decepticons. He’s completely heartbroken by this whole Arcee and Prowl thing.

Strika

TO: queen0of0everything@cybertron.com
FROM: ruler0of0everything@cybertron.com
Subject: Re: Starscream
---------------------------------------------------------------------
He’ll be executed in the morning.

Your Meggy-Boo

TO: ruler0of0everything@cybertron.com
FROM: queen0of0everything@cybertron.com
Subject: Re: Starscream
----------------------------------------------------------------------
NO YOU SLAGGER! YOU ARE NOT KILLING STARSCREAM! DON’T MAKE ME GET BLACKARACHNIA ON YOUR AFT!

Figure out something that doesn’t involve killing him!

Your Honey-bun of Love

TO: queen0of0everything@cybertron.com
FROM: ruler0of0everything@cybertron.com
Subject: Re: Starscream
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Alright, I’ll see what I can do.

Your Snookums

____________________________________________________________________

TO: arcee@autobotcity.net
FROM: prowl@autobotcity.net
Subject: Re: I want to ask you something.
----------------------------------------------------------------------Um, sure, I’d love to. What time would you like me to pick you up? If we go a little early we can, uh, go out to dinner somewhere.

Prowl

Sweet! lol!